No, not to a substance. More like to a website. Several, really. I know itapos;s wrong, and I know I should be getting some sleep instead, but I find myself drawn to my computer screen, constantly checking LiveJournal and Fanfiction.net. Why? Because, I am a Harry Potter addict, and currently my only relief is fanfiction. There are some amazing authors I discovered on other sites that write here faster (Ella...), and some that update every day on other sites. When I miss a day and canapos;t check the sites, I go crazy the next day trying to catch up. Somehow itapos;s not affecting school yet. My math teacher even wants to move me to a higher level class. But still, I worry. And I canapos;t write my own, because I stink at writing fanfiction. Iapos;ve tried. But the words just donapos;t flow.
Itapos;s different when Iapos;m singing. When I sing, all the little things that add weight to my back go away. My mind clears. Sometimes, I start singing under my breath and just create my own words, own tune. I write the soundtrack to my life, and promptly forget it. In elementary school, at recess, Iapos;d walk off to the corner of the playground and sing about how I wanted my friends to notice Iapos;d left. All my songs were very repetitive. I think I sang "over here" more than anything else. A lot of the songs didnapos;t even have verses. Now, though... Now the range of songs is bigger. The notes are more varied. The emotions put into them tear through me like a hurricane and almost make me break into tears. And theyapos;re still about someone noticing.
And thereapos;s still no one who does.
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